Queering Leadership: The Revolution We Need
Why the way we've been taught to lead is keeping us all small
Happy Pride Month! 🏳️🌈🏳️⚧️ It feels extra important to celebrate this month — it’s always critical to support our LGBTQIA+ family, friends and colleagues, but all the backlash against DEI and trans youth makes it even more urgent this year.
As a way to cheer on the community, I want to introduce you to the concept of “queering leadership,” because it totally aligns with Rebel Leaders leadership values. It offers a tremendously revolutionary way of looking at leadership that I think can liberate ALL OF US (not just LGBTQ+ folks) from the boxes we all squeeze ourselves into at times. We’ll discuss what it looks like, how it elevates our LGBTQ+ family, friends, and colleagues, and what every single one of us can learn from it, regardless of your gender or sexual identity. If you're tired of leadership that reproduces harm, this is for you!
What I Mean When I Say "Queer"
First, let's get clear on what we're talking about. There's a difference between queer as an identity and queer as a verb. When I say "queering leadership," I'm not talking about your sexuality or gender identity (though those experiences absolutely matter and inform this work.)
Queering as a verb means to challenge what we've been told is "normal." Originally this meant challenging assumptions about gender and sexuality, but brilliant queer Black writer and activist Alexis Pauline Gumbs expands this beautifully. In Revolutionary Mothering: Love on the Front Lines, she writes: "Our definition of queer is that which fundamentally transforms our state of being and the possibilities for life. That which is queer is that which does not reproduce the status quo."
So when I'm talking about queering leadership, I mean looking at leadership through a lens that challenges everything we've been taught leadership should be. Queering leadership is leadership that refuses to reproduce the same tired, harmful patterns. Instead, it disrupts and offers a whole spectrum of ways to lead that we've never been shown.
Think of it this way: Remember the last time you were in a meeting where someone dominated the conversation while others stayed silent? Traditional leadership says that's how meetings work. Queering leadership asks: What if we did this completely differently?
While the personal experiences of the LGBTQ+ community give them unique insight into disrupting harmful systems, and the ways in which heteronormativity shows up even where we don’t expect it, queering leadership is accessible to ANYONE willing to question the way things have always been done.
And besides, queering leadership is in perfect alignment with everything we stand for in the Rebel Leaders community!
Both challenge systems shaped by white supremacy, patriarchy, and capitalism
Both center marginalized voices and lived experience
Both embrace vulnerability as strength, not weakness
Both prioritize collective liberation over individual advancement
Both see leadership as responsibility to community, not personal power
Essentially both practices help us move from individualistic heroic leadership to collective, interdependent approaches. Let’s take a look at how it works in action!
What Queering Leadership Looks Like In Action
Writer, speaker, strategist, and advocate Zena Sharman's gave a talk in March 2019 called Queering Leadership, and I really appreciate the framework she introduces. According to Zena here are some qualities of queering leadership. (I think you'll notice the similarities to everything we talk about in the Rebel Leaders community!)
Leading with your whole body This means tuning into what your body is telling you — when your shoulders tense up in that meeting, when your gut says something’s off about a decision, when you feel energized by a particular direction. It means acknowledging that we’re not just brains walking around in suits. We’re full humans with emotions, intuition, and physical responses that contain wisdom. It also means recognizing that trauma lives in our bodies and creating spaces where people don’t have to perform invulnerability to be taken seriously.
Being "right-sized" in how you take up space This is about consciously checking yourself (Sharman calls it calibration) and adjusting your actions accordingly. Sometimes it means stepping back when you’ve been centering yourself too much. Sometimes it means stepping forward when you’ve been playing small. It’s asking: Given my identities, my privilege, and this particular context, how much space should I take up right now? A white woman might need to take up less space in a room full of women of color. A soft-spoken person might need to claim more space in a room full of loud voices. It’s not about shrinking or expanding randomly — it’s about conscious, contextual awareness.
Honoring the messy, uncategorizable, and vulnerable Traditional leadership pretends everything is neat and controllable. Queering leadership embraces the reality that life is complicated, people are multifaceted, and the most powerful moments often happen when we’re willing to be real about our struggles. This means making space for the employee going through a divorce, the colleague dealing with anxiety, the team member whose ideas don’t fit into existing categories. It means modeling that strength includes acknowledging when we don’t have all the answers.
Feeling into accountability and interdependence This shifts us from “I’m the leader, so I’m responsible for everything” to “We’re in this together, and I’m responsible to this community.” It’s understanding that real leadership happens in relationship with others, not in isolation. It means building systems where people take responsibility for their words, where they can call each other in when they mess up, where feedback flows in all directions, and where the success of the collective matters more than individual recognition.
Leading in service of surviving, thriving, and collective liberation This is leadership with a purpose bigger than profit margins or personal advancement. It’s asking: How does this decision affect the most vulnerable people in our community? How do we create conditions where everyone can flourish? It’s leadership that’s accountable to something larger than ourselves — whether that’s our children’s future, our community’s wellbeing, or our vision of a more just world.
What Non-LGBTQ+ People Can Learn
Look, let’s be for real right now. This administration is actively working to reverse LGBTQ+ rights, making it even more important than ever that we uplift marginalized voices and learn from their wisdom. But here’s what I want every straight, cisgender person reading this to understand: queering leadership isn’t about sexuality — it’s about recognizing and exploring the things we take for granted as “normal.”
Queering leadership is revolutionary for ALL people because when we really question the things about leadership that we think are “normal” we start to realize that many of our practices are rooted in harm and oppression.
Perfection issues? Queering leadership disrupts white supremacy culture You know those characteristics of white supremacy culture that show up in our workplaces? Perfectionism (mistakes are bad), urgency (everything has to happen now), either/or thinking (there’s only one right way), and power hoarding (information is closely guarded)? Queering leadership directly challenges these. It makes space for experimentation, values process as much as outcome, embraces both/and thinking, and distributes power across networks rather than concentrating it in individuals.
Feel like you can’t be your true self at work? Queering leadership helps us all escape the boxes we’ve been squeezed into We’ve all felt that feeling of pretending to be someone else to fit in. The executive who hides their creativity because it’s not “professional.” The parent who downplays their caregiving responsibilities because they don’t want to seem less committed. The naturally collaborative person who forces themselves to be more assertive because that’s what “leadership” looks like. Queering leadership says: What if all parts of you were welcome here?
Tired of black and white thinking? Queering leadership challenges binary thinking that limits all of us Leader/follower. Masculine/feminine. Rational/emotional. Professional/personal. These binaries force us to choose sides when the truth is we’re all complex humans who contain multitudes. Queering leadership creates space for leadership that’s both strong and tender, both decisive and collaborative, both strategic and intuitive.
Want to uplift and support people on the margins? Queering leadership centers the wisdom of those who’ve already had to question “normal”
People who’ve lived on the margins — whether because of their sexuality, gender identity, race, class, or other identities — have had to develop incredible skills for survival and resilience. They’ve had to question systems, find creative workarounds, build alternative support networks, and lead from positions where they weren’t given traditional authority. That’s exactly the kind of leadership wisdom we need right now.
Centering this philosophy challenges us to examine the ways in which we are still reproducing the very systems we say we want to change. This Pride Month, I challenge you: Where are you still trying to fit into boxes that feel too small? Where are you leading from fear instead of love? How will you queer your leadership this week?
We can learn how to check ourselves on how we’re performing respectability and normativity as opposed to embracing that which is “queer” within all of us. It’s ultimately liberating, joyful, and creative…much like every queer person I’ve ever met. ❤️🧡💛💚💙💜
Resources
Here are some resources I used to inform this essay if you’d like to learn more!
“Queering Leadership” podcast episode from The UnLeading Project
The reflection guide from that same podcast episode
“Queering Leadership with Liz Cruz” podcast episode from Stories We Haven’t Shared
Zena Sharman’s speech about Queering Leadership (linked earlier in the post)
“Queering learning and leadership in higher education” by Mie Astrup Jenson